Put Yourself First
First off, I want to say that we as women have to love ourselves first! We must hold ourselves accountable for accepting the bare minimal.
Story Time. . .
I met Ralph in the 9th grade, lol puppy love. We dated off and on throughout our high school years. My first red flag, he cheated on me. He would always make me feel like it was my fault that he cheated because I was sheltered as a teen. Life be life’n but we do what we gotta do! He was gaslighting me before I even knew what gaslighting was. We lived together and had a daughter. I couldn’t get ahold of him when I had our daughter. So, I was alone with no support. (Second reg flag) He started staying out all night, I was getting weird phone calls from people playing on my phone. I got a call from one of my “friends” telling me she saw him in my car with another woman. When I was finally able to talk with him, he denied it! She doesn’t know what she is talking about, I told you she was jealous of you and our relationship. I was so naïve!
I was that woman that held her man down no matter what. I cooked, cleaned and kept our home together. When he wanted sex or however, he wanted sex, I gave it to him, but it wasn’t enough for him to not cheat on me again. How I found out you say… he had a child with someone else.
When you finally realize that no matter what you do isn’t enough. I lost myself trying to hold someone down who will never hold me down like I held him down. My heart still aches for him, but I must move on to find myself again. Healing in process. . .
Gaslighting- a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. Gaslighting is one of the most dangerous forms of mental manipulation we all deal with.
Put Yourself First!